Hi. My name is Jax. This is my story.
Right after giving birth to my daughter in 2010, I realized my husband of 10 years was drinking, hiding it, and lying about it – classic signs of alcoholism. Mike was always a drinker – and it wasn’t a problem until it was THE problem.
He went to rehab, but was kicked out for showing up drunk. He went to AA, but decided “those people” had problems, but he didn’t. He tried therapy; lied to the therapist. Medication; nope, just hightened the effects of the alcohol he was continuing to consume.
Finally, I went to court and had him thrown out of our house. I filed for divorce, and less than six months later, Mike was dead. Cause of death: “liver failure due to severe alcoholism.” I was told that the drinking had probably been going on longer than I knew.
At age 38, I found myself widowed, an “only parent” to a six-year-old and a toddler. There will never be a reconciliation for Mike and me. He will never have a relationship with the kids, or them with him. I was prepared to be a divorced, single mom, but not a widowed one. It’s entirely different…
Two years later, I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer (triple negative, 2A invasive ductal carcinoma, grade 3). I allowed myself to think of it as 18 months until the light at the end of the tunnel. Almost to the day, that was true. Chemo, cancer surgery, radiation, and reconstruction – cancer free and perky boobs.
A while ago, I was filling out a health assessment. One of the questions asked about life events – how many of these things have you experienced in the last year. I checked more than half of the items on the list: losing a job, getting a new job, moving, separation/divorce, death of a loved one, debt/finances, health concerns.
I remarried two years after cancer – hell, anyone who will stay with you through that is a keeper, right?! I gained two bonus daughters in the process. Step momming is the hardest momming I’ve ever done.
There have been a lot of changes in my life, and the lives of my kids, within a short period of time. This blog is my outlet for dealing and coping with this new life – the good, the bad, and the ugly. MommysLittleBlog has become my therapy.