Still in a hospital bubble – and with a list of complaints

I checked into the ER on Friday, and I really thought I’d be home by today (Monday), but I was just informed otherwise. I had a bit of a fever last night (just over 99.5), and while my white blood count is now above 10, they want to keep me until my count is normal AND there’s no fever for at least 24 hours, maybe 48 hours. I get it, but still.. My bubble burst while keeping me within my hospital bubble (prison). (Sad face.)

I feel good today, still have a bit of a stuffy nose and cough. But I’ve completely lost my voice. A side effect of one of the powerful antibiotics is “unusual hoarseness,” and that’s the one I got. I guess it’s better than the “very bad and sometimes deadly problems have happened” side effect listed. (No, that’s it, that’s all it says, no elaboration…so I win?)

Still, I’ve been really productive, this first day of spring break. Grading is half done, well ahead of the schedule I had made for myself. And I’ve started a list of complaints (most of the first world variety) because I really haven’t complained about much and honestly, I just feel like it. May I present:

“Things I won’t miss about spring break 2015”

  • Getting tangled up in my IV cord and having to “walk” my IV pole everywhere, well, everywhere within the confines of my room since I’m discouraged from leaving these four walls. So to the bathroom, to the sink, to the desk, to the recliner, to the garbage can. And sometimes getting so close to something, only to realize I. Just. Can’t. Make. It. without backtracking to unplug the IV and starting my across-the-room trek again. (On the positive side, at least they let me move around on my own.)
  • Falling asleep JUST in time for the IV to start beeping or my vitals needing to be taken or a new nurse starting her shift. On the same thought as sleeping, hospitals have major uncomfortable beds, pillows and linens (I am a linen snob – it’s one of my few splurges, and sleeping on sandpaper-like sheets with paper-thin, way-too-small-for-the-bed blankets has been…not fun. I miss 1,000 thread count – trust me, it’s worth it.)
  • Hospital food – except the mac and cheese. Damn good mac and cheese here (but the portion is WAY too small…) God bless my friend who brought me Panera for lunch today. Panera NEVER tasted so good after days of hospital food! Thanks!!
  • Being asked “did you tinkle in the hat” or some other inane question about my urination or bowel movements. Let’s just be adults and use grown-up words. Similarly, I’m not fond of a shift neglecting to empty the “hat” –  it only forces me to internally debate if I chart my own “output” or if I let the fucker overflow.
  • A remote control that only works if one is lying prone in bed. Sometimes I want to change the channel while walking my IV to the sink – not while lying flat in bed, thankyouverymuch.
  • Having to communicate the stuff I need from home to my mom by phone – only to realize that I didn’t specify WHICH drawer or WHICH nightstand, and worrying that she may have found -ahem- stuff she didn’t need to know about. She knows I’m an adult, right? I guess cleaning my drawers and finding better hiding places for things might be on the agenda after I’m discharged. Or why bother – she probably already found things she didn’t want to think about. (Mortified face.)


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