James: how NOT to sell yourself via online dating

It happened today. I received a message from the most stereotypical man on an online dating site EVER.

According to his profile and the message he sent to me:

James is unemployed. James lives in his parents’ basement. James dropped out of a two-year college. James is still married, but going through a divorce. James thinks he can turn invisible. James doesn’t like tattoos on women, but loves when they have piercings “down there.” James lists his hobby as playing on the computer all day. James plays D&D 15-plus hours a day.

James has a couple of photos with his profile. One features him wearing his “fancy” tie dyed tee-shirt. Another features James eating cake – such a large piece of cake that the food is obstructing his face.

James seems like kind of a loser.

This guy can’t be for real, can he? I mean, how is THIS information persuasive? He’s honest – sure, but how are any of these things selling points for a potential relationship? And what, in my profile, urged him to contact me? (Note to self: reread and edit profile ASAP.)

Relatedly (sort of), I’m meeting B – in person – tomorrow. I’m overcome with a million (conflicting) emotions about my first date since 1995. I can do this without making an ass of myself, right?

3 thoughts on “James: how NOT to sell yourself via online dating

  1. Haha I’m sure there’s nothing about YOUR profile that attracted this man. He’s probably messaging everyone on the site looking for a bite. Its fairly typical to come across this type of maneuver from the desperates. I’ve had some online dating disasters as well, hang in there. Us ladies gotta stick together!

    Love Handles and Lipstick

  2. I’m just going to skip over James and his D&D loving self… maybe his mom told him “Just be yourself” and he believed her. Anywho… you will be GREAT tomorrow. Nervous is fine – he’s probably nervous too. Nervous can be endearing. Good luck! Can’t wait to hear all about it. (Call me after, K?)

  3. Ok, its a NO! to James…he sounds like he’s about 16, but for the going through a divorce thing. But you know that already. and like one of your other readers I highly doubt there’s anything wrong with your profile. James is a creep looking for a surrogate mommy so he can move up (out of the basement!) lol.

    This other date? You absolutely can do this without making an ass out of yourself. You know why? Because you’ve already been through the worse thing that could happen in your life! When faced with something that is difficult, or something I just don’t want to do but know I should I always remind myself what the benchmark in my life is…when Mike died. THE WORSE THING in my life…BUT I got through it. If I can handle that then I can handle anything! Think about that. This guy you’re meeting doesn’t know you, reinvent yourself for the date if you want. But above all else just have some fun and forget all the bad stuff for a little while. Its ok to do that.

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