I finally received the form, though. And I sent it to Mike’s last-known doctor. About three weeks later, I received a call from the doctor’s office. The doc refused to complete the medical form because he hadn’t seen Mike in more than 6 months prior to his death. (Question that will never be answered: how was Mike getting his meds?!?! Or was he?)
I called the life insurance company – and talked to the same dingaling. A conversation snapshot:
PERSON: Well, if he won’t fill it out, maybe one of your husband’s other doctors will.
ME: OK, but I don’t know of any other doctors. I have no medical bills from other doctors and there are no records of Mike seeing anyone else.
PERSON: That doesn’t make sense.
ME: Look, I don’t know when Mike saw the doc. He was LYING to me about everything. I have no idea when he went to the doc and when he didn’t.
PERSON: Well, a sick person sees a doctor.
PERSON (I could hear her rolling her eyes): So he must have had a doctor.
ME: Well, he didn’t.
PERSON: Well, he was sick.
ME: And now he’s dead.
PERSON: So he must have been sick, right?
ME: He didn’t have cancer. He had liquor. He didn’t have chemotherapy. He had vodka. I don’t know if, when, or how he went to a doctor, but his last known doctor refuses to fill out the paperwork you sent.
PERSON: Fine. There’s a general form you can fill out and sign to give us access to Mike’s medical files.
ME: I filled that out already. When I first contact you. You have a signed copy with a list of the docs and hospitals he visited for the last five years.
PERSON (rustling papers in a file): Oh, we do have that form. I’ll have to see if it’s any good.
ME: Why wouldn’t it be good? Does it expire?
PERSON: No, it’s just highly unusual for us to use it. Usually people who die see a doctor first.
ME: Then why did I fill it out?
PERSON: It’s our standard practice.
Hand to forehead. This is what I’m dealing with. Stupidity.