Updates: radiation, kids, yoga, photo session

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Cancer stuff: Radiation gave me second degree burns. In my armpit. Specifically in the crease of my armpit. It hurts badly, so I have a 3-inch by 3-inch gel pad stuck to it now. It’s cool and refreshing but oozy and weird. I hope it doesn’t dislodge itself and fall out during class today…

Tomorrow would have been my last day of radiation, but the oncology radiology doc decided to add a “boost” to my treatment. This means four more treatments, really super concentrated to the area in which the tumors lived. It makes sense – studies show a decrease in cancer returning in younger women with a few “boost” treatments. And the boosts will not affect the armpit area, so it can start to peel and heal. Thank goodness.

Radiation has been pretty easy. Lie down for four minutes while getting five doses of super powered x-rays, then on with my day. Other than a sunburned armpit and some slight fatigue, I’m handling it well. The only outward sign of radiation is the tanned skin my right side where the treatment happens. Overall, it’s certainly better than chemo!

Kiddos: The kids started back to school.

Kindergarten is kicking Lauren’s ass. She can hardly keep her eyes open during dinner, and she’s become super whiny until bedtime. She also sleeps until she’s woken up around 6:15 – completely different than the kid who was up by 5:30 every morning during the summer!

There was a bit of a hiccup in starting the year when I learned – at a parent meeting less than 36 hours before the first day of school – that Lauren would be required to wear a uniform this year. (Previously K4 and K5 did not wear uniforms. Apparently there was a communication that came home at the end of last year, but only three K5 families received it. There wasn’t any more communication from the school over the summer. Some found out through word of mouth and others were just learning of it also.) I spent the summer buying clothes for her to wear to school – and I checked and rechecked the dress code in the parent handbook (which wasn’t updated until VERY recently). I freaked out in that meeting, and I sent the new principal a strongly worded email that night. And… the new principal completely impressed me with her handling of the situation. She called me promptly the next morning (day before school) and offered that Lauren and the kids in K4 and K5 would not have strict enforcement of the uniform policy (so she could wear regular clothes when she wanted), and the school had a few smaller size uniforms we could have. Turns out, Lauren LOVES her plaid jumper. I’m out the cost of what I spent on school clothes, so I’m letting her wear them anytime, anyplace. She’s growing so fast that most will be too small soon anyway.

Ethan’s in fifth grade. He’s trying to find his place among his peers. Most of the boys play a sport or two, but Ethan hasn’t shown any interest in sports since Mike died. In fact, he’s specifically shied away from most sports – Mike was Ethan’s coach for baseball and soccer and helped (a little bit) practice football at home. He’s been reprimanded for talking out of turn during classes or hurting someone’s feelings. On one of the “feelings” situations, I have to side with Ethan. The kids were working in small groups to come up with “rules” for the class, and one kid suggested something like “we will give 110 percent in class.” Ethan called the kid out for the “110 percent” thing, saying it’s impossible to give more than 100 percent AND he strongly believed that in a school environment, they should focus on the facts not “bad math.” We talked about how he could have addressed his concerns in a more suitable way, but I also high fived him for identifying the flaw. (The teacher kept the 110 percent thing in the class rules, much to Ethan’s chagrin.)

Other stuff:

  • Mom and I started yoga. There’s a class at the Y for cancer patients and their caregivers. It’s not very physical, but there’s a lot of focus on stretching and breathing. The woman teaching the class also shows us how to modify some of the positions to meet our physical needs (like not putting too much pressure on the arm on the side where lymph nodes were removed). It’s an open-ended class, so no real beginning or end. Mom is loving it. I’m in it for a while (especially to learn the modifications), but I’ll need something more challenging at some point. Still it’s a cool thing to do with my mom once a week.
  • Friday will be my second boudoir photo shoot, complete with SUPER short hair and lopsided, mismatched breasts. (The first session was right after I started chemo – and still had hair, and the last session will be in the spring/summer – after reconstruction and after I have ((hopefully)) decent hair.) I’m hoping it’s as fun as the first time!

Fun house mirror

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Day two of radiation. The weirdest part is the “fun house” mirror. The machine has three arms that rotate as needed – one is plain and looks like it has two drawers on it; the second has a grid – 13 x 13 of black squares; and the third (directly opposite the grid arm) has a fun house mirror. The mirror is above my head as they position my body before starting treatment.

The mirror distorts everything. Things are wavy-looking; things don’t match up with where they should be. It’s really weird to look up and see my beautifully reconstructed breast appearing like a Picasso painting.

Two treatments done, 15 more to go.

Radiation in 3, 2, 1….

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Radiation started today. Good news: my plan includes the smallest amount of radiation exposure and the shortest amount of time (only four weeks). The radiation amount is low because the pathology report shows cancer is gone, so this step is just a precaution since I opted for the lumpectomy and I still have breast tissue. Radiation will eliminate any minute traces that can’t be detected. (The length of time is based on a size measurement. I measured between four and six weeks. The radiation oncologist went with the lower end because of the GREAT pathology report.)

The appointment started with “radiation stimulation” (or “the sim”). Basically, instead of radiation, the machine was prepped to take images. The techs spent about 10 minutes positioning me, using the four tattoos as their guide. (A few weeks ago, I met with the team for CT imaging and the tattoos, which will help align me for each radiation session. The four tattoos – two on my sternum and one on either side near the bottom of my ribs – hurt more than the surgery. I was bruised for days – and each tat is really just a small, tiny dot made by applying a drop of ink and then jabbing my skin with a needle.)

Once my position was verified by the images, the radiation started. It took about four minutes to radiate five locations – lymph node area and the “cancer bed” from both the left and right sides plus the overall breast. The hardest part was staying completely still for the duration of the sim and radiation – about 30 minutes with my arms in “stirrups” above my head, my hips extended far to the right. Of course, when you’re told not to move, everything starts to itch – and you’re not allowed to scratch or your position will be compromised.

Following radiation and changing back into my clothes, I had radiation education with the nurse. Basically, we covered side effects and what to expect. My skin from collarbone to the sternum to the bottom of the right breast will appear a little more sunburned week-to-week (red, sunburn-like skin that will itch and may eventually start to “flake” toward the end of treatment). Fatigue is a side effect, but not like chemo fatigue. The nurse described it as wanting to take a nap or go to bed an hour earlier than normal. Physical activity will wear me out faster than normal. Big deal. There are longer-term effects, like the possibility of a secondary cancer in the area (less than one percent) and a life-long sun sensitivity in the radiated area (like it will burn before any other area of my body). Also, I have to use a special deodorant and apply a special lotion twice a day. No pools or lakes during treatment. Plus no underwire bras, so back to the surgical and sports bras for a month. Blah.

The biggest thing is radiation is every. damn. day. It doesn’t take long; most appointments will be 15 minutes or less. It doesn’t “hurt.” The side effects aren’t awful. But Monday through Friday, every day, for four weeks, is a lot of time spent at the cancer center. Ho hum.

I’m just going to focus on the positive: I have to wait six months after radiation for reconstruction on my left side (much needed because things are REALLY “off” right now – I’ll be wearing a lot of scarves to cover up the difference). Six months puts me at spring break, and I’m already on the surgeon’s schedule for early that week in March. New breasts done and healed by summer 2016! Woot!

Two weeks

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I’m two weeks post-surgery today. I feel great – no pain and full range of motion on my right side – so much better than I thought I’d feel at this point.

In the last few weeks, I’ve had four doctor appointments, and one more scheduled for tomorrow. Thank goodness the cancer center is only a few miles away! The surgeon couldn’t believe I wasn’t in more discomfort or pain. The plastic surgeon checked all the incisions, removed my drain, ordered me to not lift more than 10 pounds (an increase from five pounds – yay!), avoid stress that would lead to high blood pressure or increased heart rate (easy with kids, right?!) and to wear a bra 24 hours a day (ugh). Also, I have to leave on a clear sticky surgical tape covering my incisions for another two weeks – because it’s so sticky, it’s full of little fuzz balls from towels and clothing. Yuck! The oncologist was giddy with the pathology results. He actually giggled at the success of the chemo and surgery. Of course, he’s also the one who proclaimed he loves “to kill cancer!” The oncologist said based on the pathology report and after I complete radiation, my odds of a reoccurrence would be “really, really, really low.” Woot!

The fourth appointment was with the lymph edema clinic – and a new doctor. Because lymph nodes were removed (only the three sentinel nodes), I’m at risk for lymph edema. After meeting with the lymph edema team, the thought of this condition scares me more than anything I’ve been through. The chance increases the more nodes are removed, and since I only had three removed, my risk is slight. But it’s a condition I’ll have to watch for – for the rest of my life. Any break in the skin (from a bug bite, needle stick, scratch), burn (including sunburn), “crushing” (like laying on the arm at night or having blood pressure taken on that side), or repetition (like up-and-down painting of a wall or the motion of cross country skiing) could cause a build up of protein within the cells that cannot be filtered out through the lymph system. This could result in swelling requiring compression sleeves and gloves, the need for lymph massage (not the relaxing kind of spa treatment I enjoy), or other treatments depending on the severity. It sucks.

But my biggest issue right now is figuring out what to do with the left breast. The right breast is amazing, but the left one… well, a friend summed it up by saying I’m my own before-and-after, at the same time. The left side is larger and lays lower on my chest – heck, it’s been exposed to gravity for 41 years so it sags a bit. When I look down, there’s a two-inch slope downward from my right breast to my left. It’s temporary – reconstruction has to wait until six months after radiation, and I thought it would be no big deal. But it is. I’ve scheduled a few appointments with bra fitters this week (what’s a few more appointments?!), but I don’t want to spend a ton of money (since it is a temporary condition). Worse case scenario, I’ll wear a LOT of scarves to cover my chest. Thank goodness I live in a climate where I can wear scarves from September until May! First world problems…

The kids have been great through all this, but they’re starting to get antsy, and, unfortunately, school doesn’t start until the end of the month. It hasn’t been the most fun summer – no road trips to the Gulf coast or weekend getaways this year. Everything has been dependent upon “how mom’s feeling.” Sure, they’ve been mini golfing and to the movies and fishing/camping (with my mom), but it hasn’t been our usual summer. I really need to think of a way to make next summer extra special…

Results are in…

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Just a quick update:

The surgeon called today with the results of the pathology report. The cancer was completely removed from my breast, no cancer remaining. Lymph nodes were clear of cancer. Officially no detectable cancer remains. Woo-hoo!

(As a precaution and part of lumpectomy procedure, I’ll still need to complete 6 weeks of radiation to make sure there are no itty bitty particles hiding somewhere in there.)