Ethan and I were listening to music and talking about our days yesterday on the drive home from school. Out of nowhere he said, “Mommy, you really need to go out on a date.”
“What?” I asked. “Why do you say that?”
“Well, I need a dad,” he said. “I really want a dad.”
“It’s just not that easy,” I said, holding back the tears behind my oversized sunglasses.
“It should be,” he said, matter-of-factly. Then he went on to talk through the Pokemon powers of Jigglypuff or some other weirdo creature.
I know the kid desperately misses his dad – well, not the dad he had in the last few years, but the kind of man who will take him camping and fishing, will spend time explaining “boy stuff” to him on a rainy afternoon, will teach him how to fix things around the house, will play ball with him in the backyard. He misses the idea of a dad, since Mike really didn’t (couldn’t) do any of those things with him.
This conversation raised some questions that I need to sort out. I’ve talked about how I’ve contemplated dating as a widow, but now there’s a larger consideration – when and how would I introduce someone to the kids.
Great, another thing to think about…
Whatever you do, don’t do what my mom did. She was a single mom and she ALWAYS brought her new boyfriends around. And after just a couple of months of dating, she’d try to get me to call them “dad”. Which, ew. I always refused.
Of course, she was really young (not quite 20 when I was born) so she was an idiot when it came to men. But I think you’re much different and when you meet the right guy, you’ll know. And whenever you introduce him to the kids will be the right time. There are no rules.
That is one thing that I think about. How, when would I introduce someone. With Ethan SO DESPERATELY wanting a dad, I want to make sure the time is right. Of course, first I have to figure out HOW to meet someone… 🙂