Warning: rambling posts to follow. Blog posts this week may not be coherent.
It’ll be one week on Friday since Mike died. And it’s more emotional than I thought it would be.
We were separated, but we were still friends (when he was sober).
We were divorcing, but he was still the person I called when something good – or bad – happened to me.
We weren’t living together, but he was still involved in making decisions for the kids (when he was sober).
Some days it seems surreal, like this is a dream. That he’s not really gone. Sometimes I wonder if his death was somehow faked, an elaborate hoax. That he’ll some day reappear, sober and with the personality of the “old” Mikey.
I often think about the long-term effects his death will have on the kids.
I wonder if I’ll find love, companionship, friendship, passion again.
I wonder how we will get through this week… How Ethan will manage… If Lauren will even realize… If I will get the motivation to actually DO anything this week…